The last exit to Werftpfuhl

or a few simple must-haves when you’re on Queer Easter

Easter-mare

Don’t you feel sometimes that Easter can be a very boring, if not even a kitchy holiday? OK, it should be joyful, spring is definitely coming, and all the life juices are simply streaming down your veins after so many long months of winter hibernation (this however does not apply in Germany, where winter seems to last until June). Not to mention that one could get simply crushed under these enormous piles of dyed eggs, which all seem as if coloured by some absint-induced bohemian painter, who suddenly decided that he should drop on biblical themes and explore the vivid lives of Easter bunnies.

And of course, if you’re tired of eggs, especially the dyed ones, perhaps it’s high time you concidered some other forms of celebrating this holliday. It is usefull to know that many Christian hollidays are actually imported pagan rituals, but some hard boiled heads, for reason not so much obvious to us, decided to strip away their hedonistic conotations and transform them into pious, boring, picture-perfect family rituals, designed as not to impose any threat or subversion to good, old, sound, petit-burgeois morality. In conclusion, all it takes is some cheap decoration and voila! – there you have a holiday for masses!

However, although being queer sometimes exactly means tones of cheap decoration (just remember those neckleses, rings, earings, piercings and other elements of estetic waste, which you bought in false notion that it was hype), just contemplate on the possibility that you can turn this invasion of abominable bunnies into a real good holliday. So, why not organize a QUEER EASTER? And place is somewhere far away.....just in time to escape the nightmare of celebrating Easter at home, overfeeding yourself?

Down the queer lane – and straight (but not really) to Werftpfuhl

There’s only one thing more complicated than organizing a queer Easter seminar. It’s packing for a queer easter seminar. Every girl should know and most probably experiences the torture and ordial of assembling all the necessary things for this event. Forget about „traveling lite“ – Billie Holiday swore she would do that, but she was never exposed to a horde of screaming queens, packed up with everything but the kitchen sink and a personal trainer,conveniently deflatted so he can fit into a hand bag. The first appearance counts as crucial. So, every queen who really thinks high of herself knows that there is nothing better than a grand entrance to her castle. And some castle it is. For all those of you who are not familiar, the Queer Easter takes place at Werftpfuhl in former Maedchen Internat, known as Kurt Loewenstein Haus. It’s not what you might call a palace and it’s certainly not a place where Alexis Colby would spend night, unless forced to by some hijackers, but it‘ really comfy, nice and friendly, placed in beautiful green hills of Brandenburg. Now you see it’s a perfect setting for the convention of queens, that is, queers. By breaking all the laws of nature and physics, our brave, adventures queens left the last exit from Berlin (shedding a few tears for not having enough time to rob off the entire H&M) and got themselves at Werftpfuhl Bahnhof. Only to find out that there’s not much outside the castle. And Berlin is so far away. And after discovering that there is not even a Body Shop any nearby, these brave adventurers decide it’s time for them to do the thing they do the best – spin out an effective social network. So, in some sombre Vagnerian atmosphere the events are about to take some interesting twists and turns....

Les queer Liaisons dangereuses

Fasten your seat belts, sharpen your nails, stick out those caustic tongues – because they are queer, they are here and about to create a social havoc spiced up by some heavy rounds of gossip. As a matter of fact, after discovering that after they checked out the local stuff (young, hung and far out of reach), commented and spilt acid over each other’s outfits, concluding that local woods hardly constitute a decent cruising area, our bored queens decide to take up in their hands the puppetiring of social relations in their small group.

Now comes that decisive moment when each average queen shows remarkable potential to create an intelligance center which can be compared to those of the great power’s in World War II. And there’s plenty of information to gather, because almost as soon as the flamboyant participants arrive the intrigative games beginn. It’s not just about shagging and kiss-and-telling. It’s about who‘s Miss Congeniality, who’s the slut of the town (most likely all of them) and who’s just playing straight in a totaly queenly manner. 

Time for breakfast is an ideal opportunity to exchange the latest gossips. So, over morning tea and coffee we find out who changed his bed during the night and then returned to his, just an hour before an official waking-up, pretending that nobody knows anything. Yeah, right! Furthermore, we discover what some people were doing last summer and why they don’t do it now, in which case the most plausible explanation would be gold-digging inclinations. As we calmly eat our muessli we might sometimes get slightly distracted by lack of fresh stories, but the queen who is on duty at that present moment can easily make up some interesting material. And of course, we should not forget about late night drinking sessions and strange advances made to certain persons which all can be explained only by significant ammount of alchocol in blood. 

Raid over Berlin

But, if you’re into real night life, Berlin is the right choice. It would seem silly even to attempt explaining the wide array of possibilities offered in this great, big city. A trip to Berlin is nice way to distract one’s mind from the never ending gossip circle, even if it is our daily bread. I want go much into giving tricks and tips. Just get CONNECTED,if you know what I mean.

...and back in Werftpfuhl

....you can continue with your activities as a perfectly normal, bitchy, spoiled, screaming queen. And allow yourself one good round of heavy bitching, just to keep you in shape fot the next event of this kind.

What’s there to say girls – see you again next year. But, not in the same clothes, pleeeaseee!